“We don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are.” – Stephen Covey
How we see other people says more about us than them.
There are literally thousands of quotes by famous and intelligent people telling us that; as individuals, our worlds are largely a construct of our own attitudes, perceptions and biases.
Our perceptions of the world shape our entire existence. We perceive the world through our own eyes and act accordingly. Our actions then bring about the consequences that align with our perceptions.
Most of the opportunities and challenges we perceive are entirely related to how we view the world and ourselves within it. Everything we think, do, dream and imagine is shaped by our perceptions. Many of the things that we accept as truths are mere constructs that allow us to live in a world that aligns with our personal attitudes, prejudices and beliefs.
For example; if I believe that women are poor drivers (sorry ladies) every time I see an erratic driver on the road I will automatically presume there is a woman driving the vehicle. If the driver is a woman I consider that a validation of my prejudice, and I will ignore it if the driver is a man.
If we are happy and outgoing people we perceive everyone as being happy and outgoing. As a result we find it very easy to make friends and connect with others. If we are shy and introverted we perceive others to be the same. As a result we may find it difficult to make connections with other people.
The major problem is that the vast majority of our attitudes and beliefs are not even ours. Many of our world views have been handed to us through parents, teachers, religious leaders, news media, politicians, friends and relatives.
The question that you should be asking yourself isn’t; “are my attitudes and beliefs accurate?”
The question you should be asking yourself is; “do my attitudes and beliefs serve me?”
Identifying the attitudes and beliefs that are holding you back is fairly simple; just pay attention to your own thoughts and internal statements and begin to question them. If you learn to change your perceptions you can learn to change your life.
The statements that you need to watch for usually start with “I can’t,” “I’m not” or something similar.
They might include such statements as “I am not good at math,” “I can’t speak in front of a group,” “I can’t control my drinking,” or something similar.
Once you have identified such limiting thoughts you need to start to question them. Start asking “why can’t I learn math,” “ why can’t I learn to speak in front of other people” or “why can’t I learn to stop drinking.” Chances are that someone else has done, and is doing, the very things that you have convinced yourself that you are unable to. If it has been done before by someone else there is a high probability that you can do it too.
In fact there is a high probability that you have at times done the very thing that you tell yourself you can’t. People who say they aren’t good at math have often done quite well on certain tests, many people have spoken before groups of people and many people have stopped drinking for at least short periods of time.
The real issue is that these behaviours are not recognised as the “normal” pattern of behaviour. Because they are self-limiting beliefs you automatically look for evidence to support the belief and disregard all other evidence.
Changing these beliefs is simple but not easy. You need to re-pattern your thinking which means altering your neural pathways. The best way to change your beliefs is by looking for and documenting evidence that supports a different belief.
Look for the evidence to support your best possible view of the world. Look for the evidence to support the fact that you are talented, happy and successful and learn to ignore everything else. Look for and document the PROOF of who you are at your best.
True success isn’t about us learning to be someone else, true success is learning to consistently be the very best version of ourselves. Becoming the best version of yourself ensures that you are as happy, healthy and successful as possible.
A super powerful tool that I use with my clients it the creation of a success journal. In this journal I get people to track all the things that go right in their lives, all the things they do well and all the things they are good at. Over time this helps people realise that, more often than not, they are far stronger and more capable than they ever realised.
Some people are so unfamiliar with seeing the good in themselves and others it actually takes a lot of time and effort for them to see the great things in their world and it can take even longer for them to be able to really feel the positivity that surrounds them.
Overcoming years of negative programming takes effort and persistence.
If you are truly interested in enjoying more success on the far side of fifty then why don’t you try creating your own success journal, commit to spending ten minutes per day and write down all the positive things you see about yourself and in the world around you.
If you need a hand staying on track shoot me an email I will help you get started on the creation of the new but very important habit.
Thanks for reading and I hope you have a great week.
As always feel free to sign up or leave a comment.